WORD COUNT: 646
WRITTEN BY: Rebecca Guldberg
TITLE: ARE YOU GUILTY OF "PHUBBING"? PROBABLY! AND HERE'S WHY YOU SHOULD STOP
SUBTITLE: One-Third of people report being "Phubbed" daily
ARTICLE:
You might not realize it, but you've probably been "phubbed" (fuh-bd) before, and there's a good chance you've done it to others without even knowing. Phubbing, a term coined from "phone" and "snubbing," describes the act of focusing on your phone instead of engaging with the people around you. It’s a behavior that has become all too common in today's digital age, affecting relationships, emotional well-being, and even our social skills.
Dr. Jenny Woo, founder and CEO of Mind Brain Emotion (https://mindbrainemotion.com/) and a Harvard-trained emotional intelligence researcher, explains that phubbing has reached epidemic proportions. “One-third of people report being phubbed multiple times a day,” she says. “But what’s really concerning is the lack of awareness people have about their own behavior – what I call the ‘phubbing blind spot.’”
Initially, phubbing might have seemed like a harmless habit, but Dr. Woo notes that it often masks deeper issues. “People are phubbing to escape reality, contributing to the epidemic of loneliness, isolation, and the mental health crisis we’re witnessing, especially among adolescents,” she explains. The constant pull of our smartphones provides a convenient "digital blanket" to avoid uncomfortable social interactions. Ironically, while people think they are connecting digitally, they are actually becoming more disconnected in real life.
Phubbing is particularly problematic in casual social settings, such as when hanging out with friends, during family dinners, or while at work. It’s also a growing concern in educational environments, with schools increasingly banning phones in classrooms to minimize disruptions and encourage real-world engagement.
Phubbing doesn’t just harm casual social interactions; it can seriously damage close relationships too. Dr. Woo highlights that in romantic relationships, repeated phubbing can trigger feelings of neglect, insecurity, jealousy, and resentment. A study she references shows that eight out of ten married couples feel that smartphone use is hurting their marriage. Phubbed partners report lower satisfaction, less intimacy, and more conflict. “It’s a common problem,” she emphasizes. “And it's one we need to address if we want to maintain healthy, loving connections.”
Children are also negatively affected when parents phub. “When we prioritize our phones over interacting with our kids, we're essentially telling them that the phone is more important,” says Dr. Woo. This message can lead to children feeling rejected, excluded, and having lower self-esteem. “We see children acting out just to get their parents' attention,” she adds. In addition, phubbing by parents can delay the development of social skills, language abilities, and even academic performance in their children.
So, how do we stop? Dr. Woo offers some practical tips: “Pocket it or pause it. Keep your phone in your pocket, and when you feel compelled to pull it out, think of a different behavior – make eye contact, smile, or engage in conversation.” If you need to use your phone, be transparent about why. “Explain to the other person, ‘Hey, let me check this because it will help us decide what to do next.’”
Dr. Woo also suggests establishing “no-phone zones” in areas like the bedroom or at the dinner table to help maintain boundaries and accountability. “Setting these digital boundaries is incredibly important for everyone in the household,” she advises.
Phubbing might seem like a minor annoyance, but its impact is far-reaching. It's time to become more mindful of our phone habits, not just for our own well-being but for the health of our relationships with those around us. So, next time you feel the urge to reach for your phone in the middle of a conversation, she says pause and choose connection over distraction.